Subtle Hints that are actually.. Quite Obvious

"Rejection is only damaging when you start believing you are not complete" Iyanla Vanzant



I actually had another blog post topic in mind but I have plans to spend more time on it, so this will just be a quickie... guys will most likely be ok with that. ;)

The post idea came to me while watching "The Bachelor." To be honest, lots of blog post ideas swirl through my head when I watch the Bachelor, but here are just some things that I want to share.

When it comes to how we love, we may profess that it is so complicated and we try to reason with it. Guess what, love is love. You can't reason with it. Love can get skewed for some individuals, based on their relationships growing up or experiences in life, but for the most part people know when they feel real love. That brings me to my next comments. When a person feels genuine love, and I'm not talking lusting or obsession, I'm talking real love, they want to make sure not to let it go. So let me give you obvious realities to some hints you may or may not see. You have probably have heard them before and your well intended friends have probably told you to not worry about them, but I am going to say, if you identify with any of this.....Worry about it.

1. If the guy or girl you are "dating" doesn't post pictures of you and acknowledge you in a public way.... there is a reason, they know it's short term. Yes there are people who don't participate in media outlets but it doesn't matter. People who are truly into you are talking about you to their friends, family, neighbors, pets, you name it, they want people to know how great you are. A huge, wake up and leave now, is when the person asks you not to post pictures on media sites that were taken of the two of you. At that point, they just want to make sure their other prospects are not diminished from seeing those pics and assuming exclusivity.

2. If you are constantly getting excuses that they can't see you or spend time with you, guess what, you are short term. I knew a couple who each had 5 kids from previous marriages and the man owned his own busines, they liked each other, and you know what.. they made time to be with one another. If you are only getting a few hours every other week, the person is just bored and wants companionship.

3. If they pull the "I'm not ready" card on you super early or when they feel you want more, that is obvious, masking in subtlety. This comment is going to be directed to the ladies because I have learned from experience, if you aren't exclusive after 6 months, chances are you will never be. If the guy begs to have you back, they can have you back... exclusively. Trust me on this. It is ok to date for a year or more but it should be on an exclusive basis. If a guy or girl wants you, they aren't going to risk letting you go and someone else snatching you. If a person is exploring their options, they are dating several individuals on a regular basis. When they find that they want to pursue you more, they will let go of the "other options." That is what love does.

4. If they hide things from you, if they encourage you to date other people, if they are still on all the dating websites (active status).... They don't want to be with you!!!!

Are there instances when the opposite of all these is true, sure, at about the same percentage that I will get chicken pox again.

We know love, it makes us feel great and confident. A person who truly loves and wants to be with you will want to do things that make you happy and you will want to do the same for them. When you love someone, you tell them and show them, even when it's hard.

I have been in love before and let me tell you, I was never jealous of him talking to other girls because I knew you loved me back. He was good to me and sweet and he wanted everyone to know how much he loved me.

Now you can continue to tell yourself that your person is "different" and that you just need to keep being patient and sacrificing your needs and wants, because they will come to their senses eventually....um nope... hardly happens. In fact, you are free to test out anything I have said by walking away from the misery right now and seeing what happens. If I am wrong, I'll buy you a cupcake.

Just think about it. If you are in a yo-yo relationship, get out, do some soul searching, become confident in who you are and realize you deserve to be loved in the best way. Don't shackle yourself to an individual in the hopes they change their mind, we all know what happened with the Mayan calendar prediction.... hint hint.