REJECTION..... Thank you!!!

I experienced my first rejection in the 4th grade. He was handsome, blond and had super cute dimples. It seemed that no matter how much I tried to get his attention, he wasn't interested in anything more than a friendship (sound familiar). I thought a lot about what exactly he was looking for (no really, I did) and secretly envied the girls he did give his attentions to. I couldn't figure out what it was that made him talk to the blond or the girl with the wavy curls, but it was quite heartbreaking to watch.

Over the years, I would continue to experience the heartbreak of rejection along with having the difficulty of rejecting guys that fancied me. The interesting part to this, is that, I accepted my own reasons behind rejecting someone but couldn't accept the reasons I was given when I was dumped. This inability to establish a connection between these two statements has been the source of much grief.

Enter in "The Bachelor." When this show first came out, I was pulled in by the fairytale premise like the rest of America. Who wouldn't be glued to a show where you saw the handsome bachelor (prince) seek out his true love (princess) and live happily ever after. But unlike the fairytales, where there is just one to choose from, in this show there were 25. Enter in....REJECTION.

In order for this bachelor to get to his true love he has to reject all the others along the way. It is this element of the show that I think draws in viewers. Each week we saw beautiful, smart, successful, perfect bodied women, pour out their hearts in admiration and love for this guy in one scene and then pour out their hearts in pain when he kicked them off in another scene.

I don't know about you, but watching this take place season after season soon became the therapy I needed to really understand rejection and be grateful for it.

You see, most of these women, in regular surroundings, are probably pretty great. Physically, there are few that wouldn't turn a head. They can hold conversations, they seem to be fun and intelligent. So if that's the case, how does this guy pick one???

That's the secret, who the hell knows why he chooses who he chooses, but he does find one girl through this whole process that gives him the feelings or has the physical qualities he is looking for to make him want to commit.....well commit for a short time...

Here's the lesson learned here. We are attracted to who we are attracted to (think Jake and Vienna, I mean, come on!) Some of us focus solely on physical attributes, others focus on personal characteristics the person has and then some of us like a little of both. It would be great if there was some basic standard to attraction, but I don't think there is. We may be attracted those that are similar to us or we can be attracted to the opposite. Either way, if the person you are interested in rejects you, you no longer have to feel like you were lacking in something, you can now thank them. You have no control over it, either you have what they like or you don't. Just like when you are choosing someone, you like those qualities that make you all giddy inside. It goes both ways. I mean we all can't be attracted to each other, good grief, that would be chaotic.

It's time to be grateful that you were rejected. You don't have to wait by the phone hoping they will call and miss other opportunities. It means that you don't have to change to fit into anyone's ideal. Your personality is waiting to be appreciated by someone else. You no longer have to spend your time being anxious about whether or not you are enough, because you are already. Look at how many of the bachelorettes go on to find their perfect match after their rejections (Trista and Ryan (Ryan is way hotter too)

So if you find yourself in that moment of getting rejected, just remember the title of this blog, it's not me, it's you and give them a big THANK YOU!!!!